I have decided to start off 2011 with a bang. Honestly, I didn’t set out to make this year as crazy as it is already becoming. My plan was simple enough: come to Winnipeg while Charles was away on training, feel sorry for myself for not doing something to better myself, while working at the pet store job I originally had no intentions of returning to (sorry Chad, no disrespect meant) and then return to Fredericton where I would do more of the same (feeling sorry for myself, that is), minus the working at an actual job bit. But, things don’t always go as planned (thank God) and so, today I decided to celebrate me. Why? Because, (as Donna and Jordan say) I can.
I have been feeling pretty stuck lately. Lost, confused, majorly discombobulated (and that just isn’t good for anyone). Everything in my life has changed in these past few months and I haven’t really been sure of how to deal with it, or myself. I am no longer a pet store employee, a dog washer, a flower delivery girl, a laboratory demonstrator, or a student. I am no longer the granddaughter who gets to have sleep over’s and pizza parties with her grandma, the sister who gets to share laughs at her parents expense, the daughter who gets to spending time in the hot tub with her mom, or Tim Horton’s dates with her dad, or the friend who gets to gets to just enjoy being a friend and having friends.
I am just me, and for the past few months I have felt very much alone and for the most part insignificant: no job, no friends, and no real plans for the future. On the upside, when you are so alone, it gives you a lot of time to think about what it really means to be you. Are you what you do? Are you your job? Are you the things you own? And if you are your job and the things you own, what happens if you lose these things? Do you fail to exist? Sometimes it feels like it…
Common sense (and advances in science and technology!) tell us that of course this isn’t true. And that is why today I decided to do some major digging and find out what it really means to be me. Who the heck are you Laura-Anne Marie Hasiuk?! My quest started in the most unlikely of places; a large Tupperware bin in the storage room at my parents house.
You won’t believe what I found. Somewhere, among a cheap soccer trophy that I had long since forgotten about, and valentines cards from Grade 5 with words of undying love from some guy I don’t know anymore, I found me. Here is a glimpse of what I look like…
-May 13 1996- Winnipeg Symphony Guest of Honor
-June 1996- Certificate of Celebration- “Thank you for your quiet, gentle ways, warm smile, wonderful organizational skills, being willing to help me in the classroom, and for your hard work throughout the year”- Mrs. Noonan
-June 1996- Certificate of Appreciation for St. Ignatius Crossing Guards
-June 1997- Certificate of Appreciation for St. Ignatius Crossing Guards
-June 1997- St. Ignatius School Certificate of Notable Accomplishment in Recognition of Year-Round Consistent Effort
-June 1998- St. Mary’s Academy Certificate of Merit for Honors in Grade 7
-March 4, 1999- St. Mary’s Academy Best Communication Award “For her outstanding contribution to the quality of school life in the area of science”
-May 29, 2003- St. Mary’s Academy Award “For her outstanding contribution to the quality of school life in the area of drama sets and props”
-May 29, 2003- St. Mary’s Academy Award “For her outstanding contribution to the quality of school life in the area of Yearbook- Senior Editor”
-June 26, 2003- Province of Manitoba High School Diploma
-June 26, 2003- St. Mary’s Academy High School Diploma
-June 26, 2003- Award for Highest Academic standing in Art 40S
-May 26, 2010- University of Winnipeg Gold Medal in Bioanthropology
-June 10, 2010- University of Winnipeg Batchelor of Science degree
Am I any of these things? Of course not. However, these silly pieces of paper with their official gold foil seals and fancy calligraphy writing are the result of me. They are the result of my determination, hard work, impressive organizational skills, and support from friends and loved ones. In other words you are not what you do. Rather, you do what you do because of who you are.
This post was by no means a “look at me and all my “major awards”” post. Instead it was a reminder; a reminder to remember who you are (who you REALLY are) and to embrace it. For the past few months I have lost sight of myself and, more often than not, sold myself short. I failed to acknowledge that I am so much more than a military girlfriend with a degree and no job. For some reason I just couldn’t see that only circumstance had changed, and not me.
And so, it seems only appropriate then that I celebrate the rediscovery of myself by doing what I do best: something really cool followed by something really nerdy.
First for the cool thing. My mom and I have officially signed up for scuba diving lessons! After a few confined water training sessions at the pool and written tests the two of us will be ready to move onto the open water dives. Unfortunately “open water” in Manitoba in March is “scarce, so there is none to be found”… which means we may just have to go somewhere where these is open water in March…Florida anyone? After 4 supervised open water dives we will officially be certified in open water diving and can go anywhere we want! http://www.padi.com/scuba/
Now for the nerdy thing: I have decided to go back to school to work towards my CMA designation (http://www.cma-canada.org/).
I have no doubt in my mind that all this learning is going to result in some wicked late night insomnia induced posts... I can hardly wait till I can start spewing out accounting terms coupled with awesome biology words like Golgi apparatus (that was for you Dave) and vomeronasal organ (for you Leanne) and phagocytosis (for myself). Why? Because I can.
